From Hell to Haven: She Fled the Siege of Mariupol
- Lana Gukina
- Apr 26, 2022
- 22 min read
Updated: Jun 27, 2023
Kseniya Kayan is one of the millions of Ukrainians who fell victim to Russian war crimes. When she reached the territory of free Ukraine, Kseniya gave an extensive interview to Espreso. TV. After sustaining a number of injuries escaping the siege of Mariupol, Kseniya suffers severe emotional, psychological, and physical pain. She wants the world to know how Russian troops methodically slaughtered her once blossoming city.
This is a story of loss, grief, and a triumph of light over darkness. Continue reading this article to find the transcript of the interview and learn more about Kseniya’s miraculous journey from "hell" to "haven."
Table of Contents
10:20 Kseniya's house is under attack
30:22 Making the choice
Backstory: On February 24, 2022, the Russian Federation began an unprovoked, aggressive military invasion of the sovereign country of Ukraine. Mariupol was one of the first cities attacked by the Russian forces. The attack left tens of thousands of civilians dead and many more were injured. The city was almost razed to the ground. Currently, it remains under Russian control.
Video link: https://youtu.be/AYENa3QgmuE
Title: "A Month of Hell. A Story of a Mariupol Refuge."
Video description: "Ksenia lost everything she had. She can rebuild her house, buy a new apartment, and buy a new car. But she cannot bring back her son, who was killed by the Russian Nazis. This is a story about the incredible cruelty of Russians and the incredible bravery of our people. And it comes from a tender and brave woman Kseniya Kayan, a refugee from Mariupol. She found the courage to tell her story in detail."
Note: During the interview, Kseniya speaks Ukrainian, occasionally switching to Russian. She notes that she is a native Russian speaker. The interviewer, Irina Koval, speaks Ukrainian. Mariupol is a Ukrainian city on the coast of the Sea of Azov. The city is situated in the district of Donetsk (Donetsk Oblast).
Source: Worldometers.info
Interview Transcript
"On February 24, my son woke me up at 5 am. He said, ‘It has begun.”
Time 00:00
Irina Koval
"Kseniya, you were born in Mariupol. Correct?"
Kseniya Kayan
"No, I was born in Odessa. When I was two years old, my parents brought me to Mariupol. I spent my entire life in Mariupol."
Irina Koval
"Whom did you live with?"
Kseniya Kayan
"My husband, my son, my parents, my sister, and her family. My entire family lived in Mariupol. On February 24, my son woke me up at 5 am. He said, ‘It has begun.” He said we have to do something, pack our suitcases and go somewhere. My husband called from abroad. He told me to take our son and immediately come to him, to Poland. At that moment, I realized that, yes, we have to go somewhere. But I didn’t understand where to go because the same was happening all over Ukraine. I told my husband that my mother lives here and that she won't go anywhere. I said we will pack our stuff and go to my mom's house in the center of the city because it’s safer there."
Irina Koval
"What happened after that?"
Kseniya Kayan
"We went to my mother's house. My sister came as well. She came with her family: her husband and their 14-year-old daughter. So I was in the house together with my son, my mother, and my sister’s family. My entire family was in that house from day one. On March 2, they [Russians] cut off the electricity, phone connection, and internet. Within the next several days, we lost gas. Without gas, we had no heat in the house and no way to cook meals. There was no water either."
"And the shootings were getting closer, closer, and closer… From all directions. Just like that."
Time 2:30
Irina Koval
"What happened in those six days before you lost the electricity and the internet connection? Mariupol was under shelling this entire time. Did someone visit your house? Did you witness any military action?"
Kseniya Kayan
"At first, we only heard it. We heard shootings and explosions, we heard them from all directions. We couldn’t understand what was going on because there was some sort of informational blockade. We knew that half of Mariupol was already captured by Russians. And the shootings were getting closer, closer, and closer… From all directions. Just like that."
Irina Koval
"Did you change your mind at that point? Maybe you discussed the possibility of leaving the city with your mom or your sister?"
Kseniya Kayan
"Of course, of course! We were determined to leave the city, and we were waiting for the official evacuation of Mariupol. We were waiting for the 'green corridor’ [humanitarian corridor] and for some official announcement confirming that it's safe to travel. We did not know in which direction we can travel, since the shootings were everywhere."
Irina Koval
"Since the first days [of war], Mariupol got completely blocked out, which made it impossible to evacuate civilians.
So people could leave only by their own efforts?"
Kseniya Kayan
"People could leave the city only at their own risk."
Irina Koval
"Were you trying to find information about some busses [evacuation busses]?"
Kseniya Kayan
"Of course. We were waiting for a 'green corridor,' for an official evacuation… But there was no such thing, no such thing. I mean, the rescue of those who were drowning was the responsibility of those who were drowning [Russian proverb meaning that it is your responsibility to help yourself]. When we understood that there will be no corridor, that we simply have to get in the car and go somewhere, the shootings got so bad that it was impossible to get out of the house."
"...we were just bombed in silence."
Time 4:40
Irina Koval
"Do you know what weapons they used?"
Kseniya Kayan
"They used everything they had: tanks, rockets, Grads [BM-21 Grad], Solntsepyoks [Blazing Sun, TOS-1A], TOS, Buratinos [TOS-1]. All existing weapons, except for the nuclear bombs, were used during the siege of Mariupol. Basically, everything they had [smiles ironically]."
Irina Koval
"From what territory [did they shoot]? Can you tell approximately?"
Kseniya Kayan
"From everywhere. From everywhere. The city was surrounded; it was coming from all directions, and it was impossible to leave the house. At first, we were hiding in the basement. We had a little… In Russian, it’s called “pogreb” [cellar]. It’s not even a basement, it’s a tiny space - a pit under the floor in our garage. At first, we would hide if we heard the air raid alerts. But they worked only for two days. Then, there were no warnings anymore, we were just bombed in silence."
"All people of Mariupol got abandoned."
Time 6:08
Irina Koval
"You didn’t know when it was going to start…"
Kseniya Kayan
"We had no idea."
Irina Koval
"So what would you do in that situation? When you heard the bombing, would you run into that cellar or…?"
Kseniya Kayan
"For the first two days, we did. When we heard the sirens, we knew we had to run. But later, it got quiet [meaning there were no air raid alerts]; and only planes…and explosions...
You have probably heard that they dropped a bomb on the Mariupol maternity ward..."
Irina Koval
"Yes."
Images of the Mariupol Maternity Hospital No 3 before the airstrike
Source: Mariupol.medkontrol.pro
Images capturing the aftermath of the Russian airstrike on the Mariupol Maternity Hospital No 3
Sources: Apnews.com, Npr.org, Politico.com, Cnn.com, Witf.org
Kseniya Kayan
"We lived nearby, so the shock wave [from the explosion] just threw me on top of the car. The distance [from the explosion] was about 1 kilometer [0.6 miles]. We had two cars standing in the yard, and our suitcases were packed, but we simply didn’t know in which direction we should drive and how safe it is to do that. The danger was everywhere."
Irina Koval
"So you didn’t leave?"
Kseniya Kayan
"We had no opportunity to leave; we got abandoned. All of us. All people of Mariupol got abandoned. And right now, nobody talks about it. We were in a complete informational blockade and a humanitarian crisis. We didn’t know where to run, where to drive. At that time, not a single store, not a single pharmacy was open. Nothing. Everything was already destroyed and looted. Nothing worked. And there wasn’t even a delivery of drinking water for the city residents."
"And I would like to make a little remark about the fact that Mariupol is almost an entirely Russian-speaking city."
Irina Koval
"For how many days did you stay at your house? And what happened there chronologically?"
Kseniya Kayan
"We stayed inside the house until March 11. What was happening? The bombing was happening. We were trying to catch some radio channels to have at least some information. Everything that we were able to learn at that time came from the DPR [Donetsk People’s Republic] radio channels. Those were the only channels available, which meant that they were blocking the Ukrainian channels.
We only knew that there were negotiations about the “green corridor” for Mariupol residents at the presidential level. And while they said that during the negotiations there must be a period of ceasefire, they actually started bombing even harder… even harder. So factually, there was no way out of the city.
On March 11, our house got attacked by Grads [BM-21 Grad]. [Pause] This is what happened.
And I would like to make a little remark about the fact that Mariupol is almost an entirely Russian-speaking city. And I usually speak Russian. [Switches to Russian] I usually speak Russian. And all people... The majority of people who lived in Mariupol spoke Russian. I’m saying this so that people understand that I’m not fake, that I’m actually from Mariupol. [Switches to Ukrainian] Because if Mariupol residents who survived will watch this interview and hear me speak Ukrainian, I’m afraid they won’t believe that I’m from Mariupol. [Switches to Russian] I am from Mariupol."
Time 10:20
"You couldn’t even wash the blood off your hands."
Irina Koval
"Kseniya, let’s go back to March 11."
Kseniya Kayan
"Okay."
Irina Koval
"You said that your house got attacked by Grads."
Kseniya Kayan
"Yes."
Irina Koval
"Where were you at that moment? Do you remember? In which part of the house were you?"
Kseniya Kayan
"Yes, of course. I got hurt the least among my family members because I was in the living room while everyone else was in the kitchen. I had only one injury; in Russian it’s called ‘oskolochno-ozhogovoe’ [shrapnel and burn injury]. And I got shell-shocked; I still am. Right now, I have a number of serious health problems - psychological issues, heart malfunction, and neurological problems - after all that I had to go through.
My son died immediately. I had a small flashlight in my pocket. I checked if his pupils would react to the light - there was no reaction. He was either dead or in a coma. When I realized that I cannot help him, I did a combat triage [the sorting of patients by medical needs], so to speak. I started analyzing which members of my family I am able to save because I was the only one who could walk. My son was lying dead. My sister's husband was lying on the floor and wheezing; his chest was broken in several places. My14-year-old niece was screaming in pain and asking for water. She was covered in blood. I didn’t know what kind of injuries she had. My sister was begging for help, and she was covered in blood as well. And my mom was unconscious. I checked her pupils with my flashlight. I saw a reaction, and I understood that she was alive. I grabbed her shoulders and started shaking her, slapping her face to wake her up. She was breathing. She had two injuries: she had a hole in her neck and her leg was bleeding heavily. I tied the area around the wound with the belt from her cardigan. It stopped the bleeding. Then, I [Switches to Russian] dragged my niece deeper into the house. And then, the neighbors ran over. They helped me carry my sister deeper into the house. And, I don’t know where from, but a soldier showed up. A Ukrainian soldier. What was he doing there? He was all alone. It was very strange. We couldn’t understand where he came from. He helped us; he picked up my mom.
Meanwhile, the shelling went on. I mean, he carried out my wounded relatives under the shelling. He asked my neighbor, who still had his car undamaged, to take us to the hospital. He rode with us. The four of us ended up at the children’s trauma center [a hospital dedicated to treating heavy injuries in children]. It was the Mariupol Maternity Hospital No 3. [This is a different wing of the hospital, not the maternity ward.]
There were many wounded people at the hospital. People were dying right in front of me. The hospital lacked medical stuff - it was horrible. My niece spent three days in intensive care, and we didn’t know if she will survive. My mom was brought back to life right in front of my eyes. And they helped my sister. My turn [to get help] came in about four hours (I was also injured). We lacked medical personnel. Half of the medical staff simply ran away and sat home. The other half stayed and, regardless of the shelling, provided help to those who were injured.
I want to say that the conditions at the hospital were very difficult. There was no water; they only had drinking water. You couldn’t even wash the blood off your hands. There was no electricity, so they couldn’t do X-rays. My sister had a severe bone fracture, and they couldn’t even do an X-ray. Her bones were broken, she had many injuries, and there was a lot of blood. They were injured very badly, and all three of them could not walk. I was the only one who could walk. I mean, I could walk ... sort of. I was in shell shock; it was very hard to walk. But I had to take care of not only my relatives but of all the patients that were there. I even helped someone to give birth.
There was a girl, she was 20 years old, and she had both of her legs broken. It was her 39th week of pregnancy. She went into labor, but the doctor wasn’t there. I mean, there were doctors, but there weren’t enough of them to help everyone. People were dying in the hallways. The hallways were such hell: legs and hands were lying separately, heads – separately. People didn’t even have an opportunity to bury their relatives because the shelling was so hard that it was impossible to go out in the street, just impossible.
At that time, there was no food at the hospital, there was only water. And in order to feed the children who were in intensive care, we had to run over to the maternity ward, which was completely destroyed, and look for some baby formula. And we would find that baby formula, mix it, and feed it to the kids in intensive care. We didn't have any food at that time, at all."
Time 18:55
"I didn’t even have an opportunity to bury my son."
Irina Koval
"Did you bring your son to the hospital right away? Did someone take a look at him to establish if he could be saved?"
Kseniya Kayan
"No. Only those who were alive were taken to the hospital: me, my mom, my sister, and my niece. The bodies of my son and my sister’s husband remained in the house. And today, it has been exactly 40 days since they passed. And I still don’t know if they were buried. I know that my house was bombed again several times. I know that the house burned down. Maybe they burned along with the house, maybe they got buried, maybe their bodies were burned by those Orcs [refers to Russians] in those mobile crematoriums that they brought to Mariupol to hide their war crimes. I mean, I didn’t even have an opportunity to bury my son. I didn’t even have an opportunity to say goodbye to him.
As of today, our media and government estimate that the number of casualties in Mariupol is equal to 22 000. But I saw Mariupol, and I would like to say that this number, 22 000 ... You can multiply it by ten, by ten. And many of those who lie under the rubble have not been discovered yet. Nobody will tell you how many people died in the basements under those high-rises. And the social media of those residents who were able to survive turned into a continuous [switches to Russian] 'traurnaya lenta’ [memorial or funeral ribbon]. Today, we understand that all those people who went missing, most likely, are no longer alive. We know what happened there: it was hell, a hell on Earth. And I am very saddened by the fact that the Ukrainian authorities keep quiet about this tragedy.
Nobody talks about Sartana village, which got completely ruined. It was a great, wealthy, very beautiful village near Mariupol, probably 12 or 18 kilometers [7 or 11 miles north of Mariupol] away. There is no more Volnovakha; it was a small town halfway between Mariupol and Donetsk. I mean, people were just killed, bombed, they were completely abandoned. People were burning alive. People were dying of injuries because there was no medical help, because the only Ukrainian-controlled hospital that was still operating also got bombed and ruined."
Time 22:31
"I never came back to my house."
Irina Koval
"Are you talking about the same hospital where you went to get help?"
Kseniya Kayan
"Yes, in several days. Yes."
Irina Koval
"How many days did you spend there since March 11? I understand you never came back to your house again."
Kseniya Kayan
"No, I never came back to my house."
Irina Koval
"How many days did you spend at that hospital?"
Kseniya Kayan
"My mom and I spent four days there. Then, we were asked to go to the bomb shelter because they needed space for other patients. People were lying in the hallways, so we had to go. My sister and niece stayed at the hospital.
My mom and I got taken to the bomb shelter by a volunteer. On the way there, he asked, 'Should I take you to the theater [Donetsk Academic Regional Drama Theater] or to the philharmonic [Mariupol Chamber Philharmonic]?' I said, ‘To the philharmonic.’ In two days, the theater got bombed.
The images of the Donetsk Academic Regional Drama Theatre in Mariupol before the airstrike
Images depicting the aftermath of the attack on the Mariupol theatre
Sources: Radiosvoboda.org, Ukrinform.ua, Tsn.ua, Prm.ua, Rbc.ua
Basically, since March 14, we had no clue if my sister and niece were still alive. And they didn’t know if we were alive either because we were completely disconnected. And both the hospital and the philharmonic were very close to the center of the city, where the fighting was very intense. We ended up at the front line: on one side, we had DPR soldiers, and on the other side, we had AFU [Armed Forces of Ukraine]. So we were under fire on both sides, and we didn’t know if our relatives were alive. What was going on in the basement of the philharmonic should be told as a separate story. Because, after sustaining such heavy injuries, we had no access to medication, at all."
Time 24:50
"This kind of fear makes your blood freeze in your veins."
Irina Koval
"What about food and water?"
Kseniya Kayan
"We ate once a day. We had water, but meals were rare. At first, people cooked in the yard by the philharmonic, but then the shelling got so hard that they had to relocate to the second floor of the building. Going outside was impossible. We haven’t seen the sky for 16 days. We haven’t been outside for 16 days. All this time, we were in the basement because the shelling was just horrible.
It was impossible to even walk up to the first floor to use the bathroom, a regular bathroom. We used buckets instead. It didn’t matter anymore whether you were a man or a woman. You would lose your likeness to the humankind there. You would be as dirty as a pig; you would smell bad because you couldn’t shower; you would sleep wherever; and you would be always hungry and always thirsty because water supplies were limited. And all of this would be under continuous shelling.
Pieces of plaster and concrete were falling off the ceiling. By day ten, some people started losing sanity. It was a total horror. Now I know what a mass panic really means and what a mentally insane person really looks like. I’ve seen it all with my own eyes."
Irina Koval
"Were there many people?"
Kseniya Kayan
"When we arrived, there were 260 people. There were many children, many! Probably about 60."
Irina Koval
"Were they young kids?"
Kseniya Kayan
"The youngest one was 2-month-old, and the oldest one was 8. There were a couple of teens, but they were also children."
Irina Koval
"How well did they eat?"
Kseniya Kayan
"We mostly ate ‘pelmeni’ [dumplings with meat]. Sometimes, we had soup. One time, we had borsch [Ukrainian beat soup], and it was very tasty.
There was no light in the basement, no mobile signal - we had nothing. And we were making… In Russian, it’s called ‘lampadki’ [a little lamp that has a transparent body and a fire source inside]. You would need to put oil on a plate, then twist a piece of fabric and put it on fire. It creates a lot of smoke as it burns, and it smells bad, but it produces light. We had candles but just a few; we ran out of them by day three.
Source: Euroradio.fm
I had a little flashlight, and that flashlight was saving me. It was my father’s flashlight. He died on February 14, several days before this horror began. And three weeks later, on March 11th, my son was killed. My sister’s husband got killed before my own eyes. People at the hospital were dying right in front of me. I saw children die. There were so many of them, so many.
Understanding that you can die any second isn’t just horrible, it’s… In Russian, it’s 'zhyvotnyi uzhas’[ being afraid like an animal, terrified at an instinctual level]. This kind of fear makes your blood freeze in your veins. You begin to understand that, under such shelling, you can end up staying in that basement forever, and nobody will find out where you are. I was praying, “God, not like this. Just not like this. I don’t want to die like this: with greasy hair in a basement. I don’t want it to be like this. Just let me see the sun and the sky again. I want to wash myself. I want to eat."
Time 30:22
"I understood that I need to get out of there at any cost."
Irina Koval
"For how long did you stay in that basement?"
Kseniya Kayan
"Sixteen days. When I realized that we were running out of food and water and that people were… in Russian, it’s “snosit kryshu” [losing sanity], I understood that I need to get out of there at any cost. We gathered a group of 15 people. We had to get out of that firing line. We put ourselves together and walked out while under fire. I carried my mom on top of me.
All of us, all of those who had survived, are psychologically damaged. We all will be fixing our minds, nerves, bodies, and souls for the rest of our lives. Because what we saw, what we went through… It's impossible in the 21st century. It’s impossible in a European country… To just abandon a city with half a million people and let it be slaughtered. I hold a very strong pro-Ukrainian position, very strong…"
Time 32:00
"Our soldiers are our angels."
Irina Koval
"But when we talk about the Ukrainian military, people say that they are helping a lot. For example, Azovstal [Azovstal iron and steel works]. People say that they would have already died of starvation if our soldiers weren’t helping."
Kseniya Kayan
"Our soldiers are our angels. They’re our angels. People are telling the truth. Ukrainian soldiers are helping people, they are helping. But their resources are so limited right now! It is hell over there, and the fact that they are still holding Mariupol should be included in all world history textbooks. Because this is heroism, this is heroism. They are our Cossacks [Zaporozhian Cossacks]."
Note: The siege of Mariupol ended on May 20th, almost one month after this interview was published. Mariupol fell under Russian control when Ukrainian officials ordered the last defenders of the city to surrender to Russian forces in order to prevent more casualties.
"When the 15 of us left the philharmonic, we started making our way toward the sea. We knew that that area should be safer. We didn’t have any official information, but we saw a man who came from that area; he was looking for his mother. He broke through, I don't know how, and he said that the area by the sea is relatively quiet. We went over there, and that’s where we found out that there is an opportunity to relocate from the city into the little village called Melekyne."
Time 34:05
"We went to the seashore every day and watched our city burn."
Irina Koval
"Did you see the city being totally destroyed?"
Kseniya Kayan
"Yes. Yes.
As we walked, we passed by the apartment building where I used to live. I looked up where my apartment used to be and saw it completely ruined. I ran to my garage; I didn’t know if it was ruined or not. Turned out, it wasn’t... And I was able to start my car. Yes. Because right before the war started, my son charged the battery. He saved us. In this car, I transported my mom and several other women and children to Melekyne. Melekyne was controlled by DPR. I left a Ukrainian city and ended up in DPR [smiles ironically]."
Irina Koval
"You weren’t aware of that?"
Kseniya Kayan
"No, how would I know? We had no reception, we didn’t know anything. We didn’t even know if we will ever get there. After I brought my mom to that village, I had to come back to the city twice, under shelling, to evacuate more people. I had to do it because I knew that they won’t survive there."
Irina Koval
"Did you encounter some kind of checkpoint when you were leaving the city?"
Kseniya Kayan
"Yes, DPR. Four DPR checkpoints"
Irina Koval
"And how did they treat you?"
Kseniya Kayan
"They checked my documents. They didn’t do anything bad to us at the checkpoints.
But what they did to the city … The world has to know about it. I don’t know how many residents of Mariupol remain alive at this point. The fact that I was able to get out and evacuate people must be a miracle. I believe that my son was helping me. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be able to get out of there.
It was terrifying to drive by those checkpoints. Very terrifying. I knew that if they would find me in the database, they would either kill me immediately or take me hostage. I will explain why.
During the times of peace, I used to work for an organization that did humanitarian demining. In Russia, this organization was officially declared a terrorist organization after the conflict in Georgia. It is an international humanitarian mission called The HALO Trust. It did very important work for people that lived at the demarcation line. We were demining fields. When the fields are mined, you can’t use them for farming.
I realized that if DPR soldiers found out that I used to work there, they would shoot me dead. And I knew that if they found out where I work now (I also work for an international humanitarian mission), they would just take me hostage and try to trade me for someone. And I knew that I need to come to Ukraine. Because living… not even living, staying under their governance isn’t acceptable for me."
Irina Koval
"So once you got to Melekyne, what kind of situation did you observe there?
Kseniya Kayan
"If you had some money in your pocket, you were very lucky. If your money were on a credit card, it was your problem where to live and what to eat. A bag of ‘grechka’ [buckwheat, a popular crop in Ukraine and Russia] was 180 hryvnias [$6, it’s a lot] at that time. The DPR people were housing Mariupol refugees at the school, but the school was already full, and the new refugees had to look for housing elsewhere.
We went to the sea shore every day and watched our city burn. It was all black. We saw how it was shot at from the ships in the sea. We saw how planes were flying over it all the time. We heard the bombs being dropped. We saw how our city was attacked by Grads,” we saw those Solntsepeks and TOS's. Those are horrifying, horrifying weapons. And we couldn’t do anything because we, once again, had no reception and no internet. We were, basically, in a ghetto. In two days, the entrance to Mariupol got closed. We couldn’t come back to the city to bury our loved ones. This was two days before I left Melekyne to go to Zaporizhzhia. All those villages where people from Mariupol used to live and wait for the city to reopen in order to find or bury their loved ones or to bring them bread and water are now hostages."
Time 40:28
"We were driving around the villages; we were visiting every hospital, leaving notes, showing their pictures to people."
Irina Koval
"Do you remember how you got out of Melekyne and reached the Ukrainian territory?"
Kseniya Kayan
"I made a decision to stay in Melekyne and wait for the city to open again. I wanted to go back and bury my son. I also wanted to find my sister and my niece because we didn’t know if they were still alive.
On March 8 [I think she means April 8], we were able to find something. We were driving around the villages; we were visiting all hospitals, leaving notes, showing their pictures to people. How else can you find a person with no mobile connection or internet? Only like this. Finally, in one of the villages, we caught a weak signal from Ukrtelekom [Ukrainian cell phone carrier]. And I got a message from Viber. When you change your phone number, people get an automated text message saying, for example, ‘She changed her phone number.’ And I saw that my niece changed her phone number to a Phoenix. Phoenix is a phone carrier in DPR. And I understood that they’re alive and must be on the DPR-controlled territory. I had a coworker who lived in the village of Manhush, and his daughter sent him a Phoenix sim card from Donetsk. I took that sim card and called my niece using that Phoenix number I saw on Viber. She told me everything."
Time 42:16
"I knew that I could be shot dead at every checkpoint, at all 28 of them."
Irina Koval
"So you were able to connect to her?"
Kseniya Kayan
"Yes, but you could only call from Phenix to Phoenix, and very few people had Phoenix sim cards. Typically, those were the people who had relatives living in DPR."
Irina Koval
"And what did she tell you? Where did she go after leaving the hospital?"
Kseniya Kayan
"She said they stayed at the hospital until it got bombed on March 17. On March 18, those who couldn’t walk were transported by Kamaz [a Russian brand of big trucks] to the last working hospital nearby. That hospital was controlled by the DPR forces. And on March 5 [I believe she means April 5], they were forcefully relocated to Donetsk. Forcefully. My sister did not have her documents with her. They are in Donetsk right now."
Irina Koval
"So they are being held hostage there. They can’t leave, correct?"
Kseniya Kayan
"No, they can’t leave. They can’t."
Irina Koval
"After you heard that, did you still want to come back to the Ukrainian territory?"
Kseniya Kayan
"Yes."
Irina Koval
"Did they let you go without trouble?"
Kseniya Kayan
"My journey was full of fear and horror. But I knew that I had to leave because they would lock me in there. So my mom and I decided that since my sister and niece are alive, we should leave. I took another woman with a child along with us. We drove at our own risk. We didn’t know if we will ever make it. We drove through 28 DPR checkpoints. At every checkpoint, they search through your car, look at your documents, look through your phones, your computer (if you have it), go through all your gadgets.
Men get undressed; they check if they have any tattoos connected to Azov [Azov Regiment, has nothing to do with neo-Nazis]. The fact that we were able to drive through all of that is a miracle. I knew that I could be shot dead at every checkpoint, at all 28 of them.
My route went like this: Melekyne, Manhush, Bilmak, Rozivka, Polohy, Orikhiv, Zaoprizhzhia.
Images of Mariupol after Russian invasion
Source: Reuters.com
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"I recognize my people's eyes."
The area between Polohy and Orikhiv was fully mined. The side of the road was fully mined. In some parts, the mines were right on the road. So you would have to maneuver somehow to drive through. The shelling was ongoing. The cars stood abandoned and destroyed. I saw a blown-up bus.
As the shelling continues, you are just driving and praying. Because you understand that you can’t do anything. There are mines everywhere, and you’re just driving and praying.
At that moment, I was asking my son for help. I knew that he became my angel. I said, 'Bogdan, Bodya, help me.’ He responded to me, 'You’ll get through, everything will be fine.’ And I got through [crying].
The first Ukrainian checkpoint was in Orikhiv. Everyone who passes through the first Ukrainian checkpoint starts crying, everyone - men and women. When I saw a Ukrainian soldier, I started crying. Everybody cried. We felt so much joy because we got through and because we survived.
Right now, I don’t know how I will continue to live without my son. Right now, I’m planning to go through rehabilitation because I have an injury; I am suffering from shell shock. I will go through rehabilitation and, when I will be able to, I will do everything that I can, everything that I know to help my country, my brothers and sisters. I will do everything I can. I will volunteer; I will interpret the articles for foreign publications because I am an interpreter. The world has to know.
For the Russian-speaking audience, I will say it in Russian. [Switches to Russian] I will recover, and I will do everything that I can and can’t, I will make a human and non-human effort to help my country, to work for its benefit and to help the people who ended up in the same situation. I understand what it’s like. I recognize my people's eyes. I sincerely hope that this insanity will end soon, and we will be able to live in our Ukraine under our peaceful sky."
[The end of the interview.]
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